Vanilla 1.1.4 is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.
1 to 17 of 17
The rooms at the Helvaband Hotel are well-kept, and decent, if not a bit bland for color. The coverlets on the beds all have faded roses and flowers upon them, and the pillows lie limp upon the slightly creaky mattresses. A single window in each room allows in a hazy light when the dark red curtains are pulled aside. A table with a battered chair are the only other objects in the room. A cramped – but very clean – bathroom is just off the bedroom, with a polished wood handle the jiggles when touched. This is where travelers stay when they come to Helvaband temporarily. It suits needs, but is not extravagant.
You MUST sign in at the Front Desk before posting your character settling in to his/her room to stay. If the room is occupied by an acquaintance, another character may ‘visit’ the guest in their room. Have fun interacting! Any questions may be asked in the OOC thread.
Edit by MaskedNicci: Currently occupied by the flirtatious and scheming Florence Raine
My Dorky Diner BoyFlorence Raine
Florence was brushing her hair. Why? She had no idea. It was just what she did when she was feeling stressed out or conflicted. She couldn’t explain it, but it gave her some sort of comfort that, even if the rest of her life was a mess, her hair wasn’t. Well, really, her hair wasn’t perfectly neat to begin with, but that was beside the point. Florence ran her brush carefully through her long, dark, curly hair. She fancied that she was Rapunzel (even though her hair wasn’t quite that long), brushing out her princess-like hair in her dark tower, waiting for her prince to rescue her.
It’s too bad that, these days, the prince can’t be bothered to come rescue me, which means that I have to chase after him, she thought bitterly. Either that, or he’s too busy blackmailing the princess to woo her properly. Wait, did I just call Thomas a prince? What is happening to me?
Florence pushed these thoughts aside and counted the number of strokes she was doing, wishing her problems were as easily untangled as the (nonexistent) knots in her hair.
Florence|Flo=FIERCE! Eat your heart out, Tyra.Rebecca paced across the floor of her room, trying to get up enough nerve to go down the hall and talk to Florence. She felt as nervous as she had upon coming to Helvaband. She's supposed to be my friend, isn't she? She'll listen to what I have to say--or will she? I haven't been acting like a good friend lately at all...what if she won't listen to me? She looked from her dolls, Elizabeth and Charlotte (the one she had purchased in Le Portail de Temps those many weeks ago), sitting propped up on a pillow on the bed, to the white box that sat adjacent to them, waiting for Rebecca to pick it up.
I'll never know unless I try.
Taking a deep breath, she picked up the package and opened the door to her hotel room. She padded softly down the hall to Florence's room, room number seven, and knocked on the door.
"Florence?" she called quietly, straightening the blue ribbon on the package. "May I come in?"
Lottie by MasciiFlorence Raine
Just as she was on her thirty-seventh stroke, she heard a familiar, timid voice saying, “Florence? May I come in?” Rebecca. Well, Florence didn’t feel like talking to her at all, but she supposed she should answer the door anyway, or else Rebecca would tell Cody, and Cody would end things with her before she could end things with him, which would just not do – if their relationship had to end, she would rather be calling the shots. It would seem weak if it happened otherwise.
“Entrez vous,“ she called, continuing to brush her hair and not looking in Rebecca’s direction. “To what do I owe this great pleasure?” Florence said, not unkindly, but with a certain coolness that signified that she was not happy with Rebecca. It made the comment sound rather cutting and sarcastic – which she supposed it was. But Rebecca could hardly tattle on her for that (just like the little self-centered brat she was), so she allowed herself that much expression.
And, no matter what, she would not look at Rebecca. There was no way she’d grant her even that much reassurance, because, honestly, she didn’t deserve any reassurance. And if she thought she did, then, well, she had another thing coming to her. Being friends with someone was hard work, and you couldn’t just expect to make eyes at someone’s beau and think mean thoughts about a friend behind their back and be completely insensitive and self-centered and expect everytihng to be okay. Because it wasn’t. It just wasn’t.
Florence|Flo=FIERCE! Eat your heart out, Tyra.“Entrez vous,“ she heard Florence say. Slowly, Rebecca opened the door and stepped into the room. Florence sat brushing her hair, not even throwing a glance at Rebecca. I knew it. I just knew it. I knew she would be like this. She sighed and looked around vaguely, setting the package gently onto the duvet. “To what do I owe this great pleasure?” Florence asked.
Rebecca offered a small smile. "I--I wanted to talk to you," she began quietly. "About how I am acting. And I came to apologize as well, for my behavior. I have no excuse for what I've done, and--" her voice trembled. "And--"
She burst into tears, sinking onto the bed. "Oh, Florence, I'm so sorry! I've been a terrible friend! I've been only thinking of myself and my own stupid feelings, and not thinking about you at all even though I should have because you were the first person who was nice to me in Helvaband, no, really the first person who was nice to me ever, and you don't deserve that and I've been thinking awful things about you that you don't deserve and I have no right to because you've only been kind to me! I shouldn't have accepted Cody's invitation to the ball, but it was the first time anyone had ever asked me to do something with them! I should have considered your feelings at the Bingley's house, but I was so overwhelmed! You are my first friend, Florence, did you know that? I don't know how to act! I don't know what to say because I've been alone all my life except for my parents and now my mother is dead and my father hates me, he sent me here--no, he didn't, I sent myself and he doesn't even care because I haven't heard from him since I left and he obviously doesn't care about me anymore and that's not an excuse and I know it isn't and I know I shouldn't be using it as one!"
She couldn't stop crying. "And I didn't mean to fall for Cody, Florence, I promise I didn't! It just happened and I wish I could take it back but I can't and I'm sorry! I'll leave you alone and never talk to him again if you forgive me even though I know you won't because I don't deserve to be forgiven because I'm selfish and cruel and insensitive and I got something for you!" she sobbed, gesturing to the box.
Lottie by MasciiFlorence Raine
She didn’t say anything or even turn to face Rebecca (even though she was looking at her reflection in Florence’s mirror from the corner of her eye, although she did not let Rebecca catch on that she was paying her any notice at all) as Rebecca started speaking. “I—I wanted to talk to you,” she said. “About how I am acting. And I came to apologize as well, for my behavior. I have no excuse for what I’ve done, and—” her voice trembled and Florence put down her brush and turned around to look at her. She cocked an eyebrow as if to say, Care to continue? “And—”
It was then that Rebecca burst into tears, sinking down onto her bed. ‘Did I give you permission to sit down?’ Florence would have said, had there not been a lump in her throat preventing her from doing so. She swallowed, but otherwise maintained her composure. I want to be friends with you, she thought. I care about you. But I can’t trust you, so it is best that we can’t be friends. Florence would never have said those things for the world, so instead of voicing them, she listened.
“Oh, Florence, I’m so sorry! I’ve been a terrible friend! I’ve been only thinking of myself and my own stupid feelings, and not thinking about you at all even though I should have because you were the first person who was nice to me in Helvaband, no, really the first person who was nice to me ever, and you don’t deserve that and I’ve been thinking awful things about you that you don’t deserve and I have no right to because you’ve only been kind to me! I shouldn’t have accepted Cody’s invitation to the ball, but it was the first time anyone had ever asked me to do something with them! I should have considered your feelings at the Bingley’s house, but I was so overwhelmed! You are my first friend, Florence, did you know that? I don’t know how to act! I don’t know what to say because I’ve been alone all my life except for my parents and now my mother is dead and my father hates me, he sent me here—no, he didn’t, I sent myself and he doesn’t even care because I haven’t heard from him since I left and he obviously doesn’t care about me anymore and that’s not an excuse and I know it isn’t and I know I shouldn’t be using it as one!”
“That’s right,” she said rather coldly, but with a notably softer expression. “Go on.” She swallowed once again, trying to rid herself of the lump in her throat.
“And I didn’t mean to fall for Cody, Florence, I promise I didn’t! It just happened and I wish I could take it back but I can’t and I’m sorry! I’ll leave you alone and never talk to him again if you forgive me even though I know you won’t because I don’t deserve to be forgiven because I’m selfish and cruel and insensitive and I got something for you!” Rebecca gestured to a box on the bed.
At first Florence didn’t reply, simply taking the box and opening it with slow, deliberate movements. When it was unwrapped, she revealed a doll. It was the doll that had looked like Florence in the antique shop. She had no idea why Rebecca was even giving it to her, but she found herself rather touched nonetheless. But that still didn’t change the fact that she didn’t trust Rebecca. Florence looked at the doll, calculating her response, and then looked up. Her eyes were narrowed so as to hide the conflicting emotions that were racing around her head. “Do you really think you can burst in here with a tawdry apology and a silly little doll and that would make everything okay?” Florence said. “You were right, Rebecca. You don’t deserve to be forgiven.”
“However,” she continued in a softer voice, “I find I’ve grown rather fond of you. So we’ll make a little deal. If you promise not to ever talk to Cody or see him again, then I will forgive you. But if I find out that you’ve talked to him? I will ruin you.” She paused and then said, as if it were an afterthought, “Oh, and if I find that you’ve told anyone about this little conversation of ours? I swear I will take you down.”
Florence|Flo=FIERCE! Eat your heart out, Tyra.Florence looked up from the box with her eyes narrowed, and Rebecca's heart sank. It's no use, is it? She's not going to forgive me. With dread in her heart, she listened as Florence spoke. “Do you really think you can burst in here with a tawdry apology and a silly little doll and that would make everything okay?” No. I didn't think that would work. But I hoped it would. She was silent as Florence continued. “You were right, Rebecca. You don’t deserve to be forgiven.”
Rebecca nodded, her tears streaming down her cheeks in silence. "I know," she whispered.
“However,” Florence said, her tone becoming more gentle, “I find I’ve grown rather fond of you. So we’ll make a little deal. If you promise not to ever talk to Cody or see him again, then I will forgive you." Rebecca looked up and nodded. "I promise--"
But if I find out that you’ve talked to him? I will ruin you. Oh, and if I find that you’ve told anyone about this little conversation of ours? I swear I will take you down.”
This was a side of Florence Rebecca had not seen before. Her tone was almost friendly but at the same time demanding. Rebecca knew that Florence meant every word she said. "Alright," she said shakily. "I promise that I will never see or speak to Cody again." I won't. No matter how I feel about him, I have to keep my promise. I owe Florence that much, don't I?
"Thank you," she whispered. "I'll leave now, if you like..."
Lottie by MasciiFlorence Raine
“Thank you,” Becki whispered. “I’ll leave now, if you like…” Florence was all ready to tell Becki to leave, but Looking at her innocent eyes, widened with fear, Florence couldn’t help but feel sorry for the poor girl. She supposed she couldn’t help but fall for Cody…not that she was about to let her go and see him whenever she liked or anything, and she certainly wasn’t about to go and tell Becki about Thomas, but she supposed she could be nice to her and everything. After all, she was her friend…
“No, stay,” Florence said. She twisted her hair into a French knot and held it there without securing it with pins, but then decided against it and let her hair tumble down. “It’s fine,” she said, picking up her brush and running it through her already perfect curls. Like princess hair, she told herself, although she didn’t feel anything like a princess.
Why don’t the Bingleys want me for Cody? she thought. It’s because I’m ugly. Looking at herself, her brown eyes, which she had previously thought of as limpid and soulful, now looked rather plain; her ivory skin now looked sickly. “Ugly,” she whispered, thinking aloud before remembering that Rebecca was in the room and turning away from the mirror.
“So what have you been up to?” she asked Becki.
Florence|Flo=FIERCE! Eat your heart out, Tyra.Rebecca Appleton
Her whole body trembled as she fought the urge to burst into tears once again. She couldn't. Not now. She couldn't cry again, because that would give Florence the satisfaction of knowing that she'd upset her. Florence would win even more than she had already, and Rebecca couldn't let that happen. She brushed the last of the tears from her eyes, clasping her shaking hands together in her lap harder and harder until her knuckles went white and her fingernails dug into the skin on the palms of her hands. See what you've done to me, Florence. You and Cody both. See what you've done to me.
And yet even as Rebecca stood there, she knew that she would do what Florence had asked. She couldn't say no, it just not possible. Florence had told her to never see Cody again--no more talking to him, nothing--and Rebecca would obey. She would forget all about him, never acknowledging how her heart would ache to see him again, just once. There was nothing else she could do, was there?
"I'll leave now, if you like..." she whispered lightly, moving as if to stand up from where she had fallen on the bed. To her complete surprise, however, Florence said, “No, stay.” Rebecca's eyes widened warily as she watched her friend continue to brush her hair. Why do you want me to stay? Do you have more that you want to tell me, or... “It’s fine.”
All was silent for a moment, Rebecca still clasping her hands together as she watched Florence gaze at herself in the mirror. As if she doesn't already know what she's going to see there...I've never fully understood mirrors. The quiet was broken by a quiet comment from Florence, one that Rebecca wasn't sure was meant to refer to herself or to her friend. “Ugly.”
"Oh, don't be ridiculous," Rebecca said quietly, looking away.
“So what have you been up to?”
Rebecca stared at her, wondering if somehow Florence had forgotten all about the events of the last few moments. How could she act so friendly after threatening her like that? "Not much to speak of...and yourself?" she asked, not really caring to hear the answer.
Lottie by MasciiFlorence Raine
“Ugly,” she whispered to her reflection in the mirror. Ugly, ugly ugly. Inside and out, she thought.
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” she heard Becki say, piercing through her thoughts and jolting her back to reality. Oops, Florence thought, although that was an understatement. She couldn’t believe she’d let her guard down for even a second in front of Rebecca, in front of anyone. Hopefully she thought Florence was talking about someone else or something. She simply couldn’t let Becki see that she was in any way weak – one of the only reasons her plan could work was because of her powerful, confident facade, the mask she wore of the carefree, self-assured girl she used to be before her mother died and she had to move to Helvaband. Before everything changed.
“So, what have you been up to?” Florence asked breezily, feeling Rebecca’s stare. She knew she was acting rather bipolar, but that was okay as long as she wasn’t acting weak. _I’m my father’s daughter; I’m not weak. I’m _not, she told herself.
“Not much to speak of…and yourself?” Rebecca replied, sounding as if she didn’t particularly care about the answer. Well, she was wrong to think of the answer as of litle consequence, since she’d been having an eventful few weeks for sure. Kissing Thomas Pontmercy, being blackmailed by him…
Not that she was going to tell Rebecca about Thomas, of course. In fact, she’d rather pretend that he didn’t exist. It made things much simpler that way. “Oh, you know. Been keeping busy,” she answered.
“Look, Rebecca, I know it’s going to be strange between us,” Florence said, changing topics, “and I know that it’s strange now. And I’m sorry for blackmailing you, but I did what I had to do.” I just don’t think I can trust you anymore. I don’t think I can trust anyone anymore. She swallowed. “But I do want to go back to being friends.”
Florence|Flo=FIERCE! Eat your heart out, Tyra.“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” Rebecca said, her tone quiet but frustrated. Florence didn't know the definition of true ugliness--and Rebecca herself didn't either, she supposed. Although maybe I'm starting to realize that a truly ugly person can be as beautiful as can be on the outside. Florence's actions still stunned her, especially the conversational tone their encounter was now taking. After what had just transpired, Florence appeared to believe that speaking in a friendly manner and taking up her hairbrush again would just make everything right again. Did she really believe the world worked that way? I don't understand you, Florence. I don't understand you at all, and I thought I did.
I miss you. The old you. The real you, whoever that is.
As if determined to vex Rebecca even more, Florence then asked her about her activities lately, the standard 'what have you been up to' that wouldn't have irritated her under normal circumstances, but did so now. She made a vague remark back before inquiring after Florence herself, as decorum dictated. I don't understand what's going on here. “Oh, you know. Been keeping busy. Look, Rebecca, I know it’s going to be strange between us, and I know that it’s strange now. And I’m sorry for blackmailing you, but I did what I had to do.” Rebecca could only stare at the person she had once considered her friend, the one person she had met in Helvaband who she thought almost worthy of taking her mother's place as Rebecca's sole confidante. How can you say that you had to do it? You didn't have to. You could have chosen not to...I don't know what kind of game you're playing at, Florence, but I don't want to be a part of it.
“But I do want to go back to being friends.”
It was then that Rebecca realized that that simply would not be possible--at least, not in the way that Florence wanted, or the way it had been before. The friend that she had made upon her arrival in Helvaband was gone, or maybe she never even existed to begin with. "Florence, I don't understand why you had to do that to me," she said, speaking without thinking. "I really don't. I will do what you asked me. And I'll think about what you've said. I'm just not sure right now if we can go back to being friends. I'll have to think about it. I'm sorry." With that, she stood up to leave. "I'm terribly sorry, but you'll have to excuse me."
When she reached the door to the room, she paused, one hand lingering on the doorknob. "I am sorry for whatever has happened between us to make you believe you needed to gain my allegiance in that way. And I thank you for your forgiveness for what I have done. I can promise you I didn't mean for it to happen this way."
Lottie by MasciiFlorence Raine
To be honest, Florence wasn’t being entirely truthful when she said that she wanted to be friends with Rebecca. As it stood, she didn’t particularly want to be friends with her – after all, what nerve the girl had, to go and fantasize about her beau, her Cody, and then act like the wounded party. But she did desperately want everything to go back to the way it was before – before Thomas, before this whole mess with Rebecca and Cody. When Rebecca was a friend she could actually trust and when she was confident. Everything was absolutely terrible right now, and she just wanted things to go back to the way they were. Maybe if she could just get Rebecca back as her friend and if they could just pretend everything was normal, all the chips would fall into place.
Rebecca, on the other hand, didn’t seem to be open to this plan, as she said, “Florence, I don’t understand why you had to do that to me. I really don’t. I will do what you asked me. And I’ll think about what you’ve said. I’m just not sure right now if we can go back to being friends. I’ll have to think about it. I’m sorry. I’m terribly sorry, but you’ll have to excuse me.” Florence simply stared – the nerve of this girl! Was she really that insensitive, that tactless, that selfish? Obviously she was only thinking of her feelings here and not Florence’s at all. She understood that Rebecca must have been feeling rather hurt, to say the least, but she was acting as if this were her fault. She just didn’t understand.
“I am sorry for whatever has happened between us to make you believe you needed to gain my allegiance in that way. And I thank you for your forgiveness for what I have done. I can promise you I didn’t mean for it to happen this way.”
This jerked Florence out of her state of dumbstruck anger and she stood up and grabbed Rebecca’s wrist before she could leave. “You have some nerve, do you know that?” she hissed before taking a different, calmer tone. “Look at you. You’re just an innocent little dove, aren’t you? You wouldn’t hurt a fly, much less blackmail a friend. You’re so innocent that you would steal your friend’s beau away from her if you had the chance. Admit it, Rebecca,” Florence said, “if we hadn’t had this conversation, if Cody were to kiss you, you would kiss him back, wouldn’t you? Yes, nothing has happened yet, but that’s not exactly because of how you’re such an amazing friend. I can’t trust you, Rebecca, and I don’t see why anyone would, and that’s why I had to do this. I don’t trust you to stay away.”
Florence turned away from Rebecca and sat back down at your dresser. “Maybe it really is better that we’re not friends,” she said.
Florence|Flo=FIERCE! Eat your heart out, Tyra."I’m terribly sorry, but you’ll have to excuse me," Rebecca said, trying to maintain her composure the best she could. She felt as though the very foundations beneath her feet had been yanked out from under her by Florence's actions. Rebecca had only experienced such strangeness, such cruelty by someone who one was supposed to be able to trust fully, in books. Not even her father's brutal betrayal and abandonment after Mother's death could have prepared her for how Florence was now acting--Rebecca hadn't believed that things like this actually happened.
I just don't understand! I did nothing--nothing that could have been prevented, in any case. Don't all the books always say we can't control who we fall in love with? Mister Darcy told Elizabeth that he loved her against his better judgment, when he first proposed, Jane Eyre hid her feelings from Mister Rochester for the longest time, even going so far as to draw that picture to remind herself of how impossible it was for him to love her back. Edward Ferrars tried to ignore his love for Elinor in Sense and Sensibility...doesn't she understand? I couldn't help falling for him any more than she could! I didn't do anything! I didn't mean for it to happen! For the first time in ages, Rebecca found herself wondering what her mother would tell her to do if she were here...what her mother would have done herself if she was in her situation.
“I am sorry for whatever has happened between us to make you believe you needed to gain my allegiance in that way," she added on her way out the door. "And I thank you for your forgiveness for what I have done. I can promise you I didn’t mean for it to happen this way.”
“You have some nerve, do you know that?” Florence whispered venomously, reaching out a hand to trap Rebecca there. “Look at you. You’re just an innocent little dove, aren’t you? You wouldn’t hurt a fly, much less blackmail a friend."
Rebecca stared at Florence. "No," she said with conviction. "No, I would not."
You’re so innocent that you would steal your friend’s beau away from her if you had the chance. Admit it, Rebecca,” Florence said, continuing before Rebecca had a chance to interrupt her, although her mouth had dropped open in dismay and perhaps even fury, “if we hadn’t had this conversation, if Cody were to kiss you, you would kiss him back, wouldn’t you? Yes, nothing has happened yet, but that’s not exactly because of how you’re such an amazing friend."
Rebecca narrowed her eyes. "What does it matter what I would do? It wouldn't happen, Florence. Never, not even in my wildest dreams. You know just as well as I he'll never think of me in that way. I mean," she added icily, her tone almost sickly-sweet but still biting, "look at me, Florence. Look at me." She gestured to her mottled face angrily. "Why in the world would he want me, when he's got you?"
"I can’t trust you, Rebecca, and I don’t see why anyone would, and that’s why I had to do this. I don’t trust you to stay away.”
"Why not?" Rebecca challenged.
“Maybe it really is better that we’re not friends.”
"Maybe it's not," Rebecca agreed. "I wish it were not so, but maybe it's not." She thought about moving to leave again, but stopped herself before she wrenched herself away from Florence's grip on her wrist. "Someone once told me that the heart never really stops loving, you know," Rebecca said, almost thoughtfully. "It can change, yes, but love always remains. So even though he'll never know--and I'll make sure of that, don't worry--I will always know. And I'll carry that in my heart forever, even when I'm old and dying, and even if, by some miracle, I find someone to love me. As impossible as that may be. I'll know, and I'll remember it forever. So just think on that, Florence."
Lottie by MasciiFlorence Raine
“What does it matter what I would do? It wouldn’t happen, Florence. Never, not even in my wildest dreams. You know just as well as I he’ll never think of me in that way. I mean,” she added in a poor imitation sweet-but-venomous voice that Florence had perfected at the age of about nine, “look at me, Florence. Look at me. Why in the world would he want me, when he’s got you?”
“Oh, stop feeling sorry for yourself,” Florence snapped. “You’re still pretty, you know. It’s not like that burn makes you completely undesirable – you just blow it out of proportion. And anyway,” she continued, “you’re not getting the point. I’m not jealous. I just know that, if by some twist of fate that were to happen, you would steal Cody away from me in an instant. I’m punishing you for that lack of loyalty to your first friend here. You wouldn’t have even met Cody if it weren’t for me. I can’t trust you, Rebecca, and I don’t see why anyone would, and that’s why I had to do this. I don’t trust you to stay away.”
“Why not?” Rebecca said, and it was a challenge – of course one that she was going to take.
“I just told you,” Florence said. “You haven’t been very much of a friend to me lately – you said so yourself. You’ve been inconsiderate and tactless and you’ve proven to me that my friendship obviously doesn’t mean very much to you. And yet you have the nerve to make me out to be the bad one here. Weren’t you the one who was supposed to be apologizing?” She sighed. “Maybe it really is better that we’re not friends.”
“Maybe it’s not,” Rebecca said. “I wish it were not so, but maybe it’s not. Someone once told me that the heart never really stops loving, you know,” Rebecca added. “It can change, yes, but love always remains. So even though he’ll never know—and I’ll make sure of that, don’t worry—I will always know. And I’ll carry that in my heart forever, even when I’m old and dying, and even if, by some miracle, I find someone to love me. As impossible as that may be. I’ll know, and I’ll remember it forever. So just think on that, Florence.”
“Well, you know what else is forever?” Florence said. “Friendship. You know, someone once told me that boys come and go, but friends are forever. Why don’t you think on that? I was your first friend, Rebecca,” she said. “Remember that. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? You know, Rebecca,” Florence continued, “if you were to have met Cody first and if he had become your beau and I liked him as well, I wouldn’t have dreamed of acting as you have done.” She felt betrayed – couldn’t Rebecca see that? Did she even know her at all?
Of course she doesn’t, Florence thought. No one knows me. They didn’t know her title or whether she had both parents or not (which of course she didn’t, considering that her mother had died for her, which she still felt guilty about. If she had been more careful, she wouldn’t have been kidnapped and her mother wouldn’t have had to save her, and she would still be alive. She was so stupid, so thoughtless! But that was a different story), or anything else of substance. And the worst thing was that no one had ever bothered to find out. They’d just seen the porcelain skin and the princess-like curls and the pretty dresses and not much esle. “Do you even know me?” she demanded of Rebecca, desperately wanting to be proven wrong. “You didn’t even bother trying to find out; you were so wrapped up in yourself. I know all about you and your past. Can you tell me anything about mine? How could you feel betrayed when you didn’t even bother trying to be a real friend to me? Real friends try to get to know each other. Do you even know why I’m here? Whether I even have both parents or not? Which I don’t, by the way. You’re not the only one who’s lost a mother. In fact, my mother died for me and I feel so guilty about it that it keeps me up at night. Did you know that, Rebecca? Because a true friend would.”
By now tears were streaming down Florence’s face of their own accord. She gulped, taking deep breaths in and out and wiping away the tears from her cheeks. “Of course you don’t,” she said. “I’m sorry for what I had to do too, Rebecca, but if you’d been in any way a real friend to me, I wouldn’t have felt that I had to.”
Florence|Flo=FIERCE! Eat your heart out, Tyra.“Oh, stop feeling sorry for yourself,” Florence said briskly. “You’re still pretty, you know. It’s not like that burn makes you completely undesirable – you just blow it out of proportion." Rebecca glared daggers at her. It's a birthmark. And I was told from almost the moment that I was born that it does make me undesirable. Why would all of them--my parents, the doctors, people who would come to call--why would they say that if it wasn't true?
And anyway,” she continued, “you’re not getting the point. I’m not jealous." Oh, you're not, Florence? Forgive me, then. Because it seems to be quite the opposite from your behavior. "I just know that, if by some twist of fate that were to happen, you would steal Cody away from me in an instant."
"No, I wouldn't, because it wouldn't happen!
"I’m punishing you for that lack of loyalty to your first friend here. You wouldn’t have even met Cody if it weren’t for me. I can’t trust you, Rebecca, and I don’t see why anyone would, and that’s why I had to do this. I don’t trust you to stay away.”
“Why not?” Rebecca said, her tone a challenge in order to get Florence to say what was really bothering her. Rebecca's heart beat faster in her anger, her face growing warm as she waited for Florence to come up with some response that would justify her actions beside from Rebecca's apparent streak of 'untrustworthy' behavior. Her piercing green eyes locked with brown, never wavering, forcing Florence to explain herself.
“I just told you,” Florence said condescendingly, her tone nearly dripping with sarcasm and malice. Rebecca recognized it instantly, the same tone cousins and 'friends' back home had used when talking to her, the tone used for berating servants--the one that said, 'I can't believe anyone can be that intolerably stupid. If possible, Rebecca's glare intensified. “You haven’t been very much of a friend to me lately – you said so yourself. You’ve been inconsiderate and tactless and you’ve proven to me that my friendship obviously doesn’t mean very much to you. And yet you have the nerve to make me out to be the bad one here. Weren’t you the one who was supposed to be apologizing? Maybe it really is better that we’re not friends.”
“Maybe it’s not. I wish it were not so, but maybe it’s not. Someone once told me that the heart never really stops loving, you know,” Rebecca began, knowing even as she spoke how low her comment was going to be. But Helvaband had taught her to speak her mind, and to speak from her heart. She wasn't going to let Florence win this one--not if she could help it. “It can change, yes, but love always remains. So even though he’ll never know—and I’ll make sure of that, don’t worry—I will always know. And I’ll carry that in my heart forever, even when I’m old and dying, and even if, by some miracle, I find someone to love me. As impossible as that may be. I’ll know, and I’ll remember it forever. So just think on that, Florence.”
Her words seemed to have the opposite effect than what she planned--if anything, they only seemed to make Florence's malice grow exponentially. “Well, you know what else is forever? Friendship. You know, someone once told me that boys come and go, but friends are forever. Why don’t you think on that? I was your first friend, Rebecca. Remember that. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?"
"Actually," she said conversationally, "you weren't my first friend. Abelinda was. I met her before I met you, and she was the first person to show me any sort of kindness in a long time. She was the one who convinced me to stay here when--when I first arrived. Abelinda was my first friend."
You know, Rebecca, if you were to have met Cody first and if he had become your beau and I liked him as well, I wouldn’t have dreamed of acting as you have done.”
"Oh really?" Rebecca asked dryly. "If you had seen an attractive boy like him on the arm of some mouse like me, who didn't even know how to hold a proper conversation with someone she wasn't related to by blood when she arrived, much less how to curtsy or do anything, you wouldn't have tried to make him yours? Which I might add I haven't done. I wouldn't even know how to begin. I'm only saying...it wouldn't have been hard at all. After all, isn't that what always happens when you're around me? People forget I even exist. The only one who didn't was Mister Ambrose Vorassi." A faint smile crossed Rebecca's face as she thought of that strange, pleasant man, with eyes that nearly matched her own. I wonder what ever happened to him? Turning back to Florence, she added, "But that is not the point."
“Do you even know me? You didn’t even bother trying to find out; you were so wrapped up in yourself. I know all about you and your past." No you don't, Rebecca thought petulantly. "Can you tell me anything about mine? How could you feel betrayed when you didn’t even bother trying to be a real friend to me? Real friends try to get to know each other. Do you even know why I’m here? Whether I even have both parents or not? Which I don’t, by the way. You’re not the only one who’s lost a mother. In fact, my mother died for me and I feel so guilty about it that it keeps me up at night. Did you know that, Rebecca? Because a true friend would. Of course you don’t,”
"I didn't know that," Rebecca hissed through clenched teeth. "And I'm sorry for your loss. But you are not the only one who brought about the death of a most beloved mother. If I hadn't been born, she would still be alive. Did you ever stop to wonder how I got this?" She pointed to her face. "Or the repercussions it might have had? After my birth, my mother was so weak that most times she couldn't even get out of bed. When I was sick, I couldn't even have my own mother care for me because when she got sick, it would strike her more terribly than we could imagine. Her favorite times were when she was well enough to go out into her garden, or out into town, or down the stairs to sit at her beloved piano! Meanwhile, I was kept inside, or on the grounds of our home, just as much as she was--because of my 'undesirable' birthmark. We moved the piano into her room so she could enjoy it. She was an invalid because of me. And I was the one who gave her the influenza that she died of, even though I didn't know it at the time. It's my fault and no one else's. We may have both lost a mother, Florence. But you still have a father. A father who loves you. Do you know that mine does not? He's blamed me my entire life--for making her weak, for getting in the way, for being to ugly to marry off at his earliest convenience. And for looking just like her. He sent me away and I haven't heard from him since. I would die just to hear him say he loved me, just once in my life."
"And Florence? My mother was the only friend I had in the world. The only one."
Scalding tears slid down Rebecca's cheeks despite her attempts to stop them, and Florence was now weeping as well. “I’m sorry for what I had to do too, Rebecca, but if you’d been in any way a real friend to me, I wouldn’t have felt that I had to.”
"Well, thank you," Rebecca said, her voice breaking through the sarcasm, "for showing me what a real friend is like. I shall try to remember that in the future."
Lottie by MasciiFlorence Raine
“Actually,” Rebecca said, “you weren’t my first friend. Abelinda was. I met her before I met you, and she was the first person to show me any sort of kindness in a long time. She was the one who convinced me to stay here when—when I first arrived. Abelinda was my first friend.”
“Well, excuse me for not being able to read minds,” Florence said sarcastically. “You’re the one who told me that I was your first friend during this very conversation. In fact, just earlier, you were begging for my forgiveness and you even said that you would never speak to Cody again if only I would forgive you and be your friend again. I don’t understand the change of heart. You know, Rebecca, if you were to have met Cody first and if he had become your beau and I liked him as well, I wouldn’t have dreamed of acting as you have done.”
“Oh really? If you had seen an attractive boy like him on the arm of some mouse like me, who didn’t even know how to hold a proper conversation with someone she wasn’t related to by blood when she arrived, much less how to curtsy or do anything, you wouldn’t have tried to make him yours? Which I might add I haven’t done. I wouldn’t even know how to begin. I’m only saying…it wouldn’t have been hard at all. After all, isn’t that what always happens when you’re around me? People forget I even exist. The only one who didn’t was Mister Ambrose Vorassi.”
“For your information, I wouldn’t do that despite the fact that I could. Not to a friend,“ Florence said. “And you say that you haven’t done that because you wouldn’t know how to begin. So you’re saying that you would if you knew how? In fact, you said just now that you wouldn’t steal Cody away from me because he would never take an interest in you. So if he were to do so, you would do that to me? I would never do that to you, you know.”
“I didn’t know that,” Rebecca hissed through clenched teeth. *“And I’m sorry for your loss. But you are not the only one who brought about the death of a most beloved mother. If I hadn’t been born, she would still be alive. Did you ever stop to wonder how I got this? Or the repercussions it might have had? After my birth, my mother was so weak that most times she couldn’t even get out of bed. When I was sick, I couldn’t even have my own mother care for me because when she got sick, it would strike her more terribly than we could imagine. Her favorite times were when she was well enough to go out into her garden, or out into town, or down the stairs to sit at her beloved piano! Meanwhile, I was kept inside, or on the grounds of our home, just as much as she was—because of my ‘undesirable’ birthmark. We moved the piano into her room so she could enjoy it. She was an invalid because of me. And I was the one who gave her the influenza that she died of, even though I didn’t know it at the time. It’s my fault and no one else’s. We may have both lost a mother, Florence. But you still have a father. A father who loves you. Do you know that mine does not? He’s blamed me my entire life—for making her weak, for getting in the way, for being to ugly to marry off at his earliest convenience. And for looking just like her. He sent me away and I haven’t heard from him since. I would die just to hear him say he loved me, just once in my life.”
“And Florence? My mother was the only friend I had in the world. The only one.”*
Florence thought of what it would be like if her father didn’t love her and it wasn’t hard to imagine. He hadn’t even written since she’d arrived…she wasn’t sure if he just didn’t want his letters to be intercepted or if he too blamed her for her mother’s death. She wouldn’t blame him for that. Did he even send her here to keep her safe or because he just didn’t want to see her again? She wasn’t sure. Florence gulped down a sob for both herself and Rebecca – poor Rebecca. Florence wasn’t really sure who to feel more sorry for – herself, for having known a better life and for having it so cruelly taken from her, or Rebecca, for never having known a better life. But Florence wasn’t going to give anymore reasons for Rebecca, for anyone to pity her. She was Florence Raine; she wouldn’t be the subject of pity.
“I’m sorry for what I had to do too, Rebecca,” she said instead gently, “but if you’d been in any way a real friend to me, I wouldn’t have felt that I had to.”
“Well thank you for showing me what a real friend is like. I shall try to remember that in the future.”
Florence scoffed at the sarcasm in her tone. “I don’t understand why you even came here in the first place,” she said. “I thought you were apologizing but I guess you’re just pinning the blame back on me.” For things that are largely out of my control, might I add. I know it sounds horrible, but it really isn’t my fault that people pay attention to me and forget about her – which actually isn’t even true. Cody pays plenty of attention to her after all. In fact, she’s had plenty of attention from pretty much everyone she’s met, aside from that George Grosvernor from Le Portail de Temps. And I just had to make sure she will stay away from Cody in the future; I can’t have him taken away from me. I’ve had everything taken from me already. If I lose him too, I’ll go mad. “I just…I’m sorry, but I had to. I can’t lose Cody. I love him,” she said. “I’ve already lost everything…my mother, my father, my friends and my whole life. I think I’ve even lost you. Cody’s all I have left. All that matters, anyway,” she added. Yes, she had looks and money, but what good were they when they didn’t enable her to keep her love? “I couldn’t lose him too. Please understand that.”
Florence|Flo=FIERCE! Eat your heart out, Tyra.If Rebecca had been able to think straight, she would have contemplated further on how alike she and Florence truly were. Sure, Florence was so much braver and more confident and outspoken than Rebecca could ever be, but once one got past the differences, the connections between the two shone out clearer than the sun. They had both lost someone dear to them, which affected them daily. They were both stubborn and unwilling to give up what they thought was right. Both were deeply passionate and spirited people, not willing to give up what they loved without a fight, and both were essentially all alone in the world. If Rebecca hadn't been blinded to all else but her anger, she would have stopped to consider these similarities, and maybe even rethink her actions.
As it was, she was so upset she could hardly focus on anything.
“Well, excuse me for not being able to read minds,” Florence said scathingly. “You’re the one who told me that I was your first friend during this very conversation. In fact, just earlier, you were begging for my forgiveness and you even said that you would never speak to Cody again if only I would forgive you and be your friend again. I don’t understand the change of heart."
"I could say the same thing of you, telling me you're able to forgive me and then threatening me. I don't personally know exactly what you meant when you said you would 'ruin me', but it definitely sounded like a threat to me!" "You know, Rebecca, if you were to have met Cody first and if he had become your beau and I liked him as well, I wouldn’t have dreamed of acting as you have done.”
“Oh really?" Rebecca retorted. "If you had seen an attractive boy like him on the arm of some mouse like me, who didn’t even know how to hold a proper conversation with someone she wasn’t related to by blood when she arrived, much less how to curtsy or do anything, you wouldn’t have tried to make him yours? Which I might add I haven’t done. I wouldn’t even know how to begin. I’m only saying…it wouldn’t have been hard at all. After all, isn’t that what always happens when you’re around me? People forget I even exist. The only one who didn’t was Mister Ambrose Vorassi.”
“For your information, I wouldn’t do that despite the fact that I could. Not to a friend," Florence said, her words biting. “And you say that you haven’t done that because you wouldn’t know how to begin. So you’re saying that you would if you knew how? In fact, you said just now that you wouldn’t steal Cody away from me because he would never take an interest in you. So if he were to do so, you would do that to me? I would never do that to you, you know.”
"Don't you dare lie to me, Florence Raine!"
On and on this went, with both girls moved so as to allow the bitter secrets of their respective pasts to spill forth from their lips, Rebecca without even realizing it was happening. Before she knew it, they were both crying for the mothers they'd lost, for the fathers far away, for the loneliness that they both clearly felt. Yes, indeed, they were two of a kind, Rebecca and Florence.
But that shouldn't matter! It doesn't change the way she's treated me, the blackmail, the things she's said and insinuated about me...
“Well thank you for showing me what a real friend is like. I shall try to remember that in the future," Rebecca said, the sarcasm evident in her voice even as tears spilled down her flushed face.
“I don’t understand why you even came here in the first place. I thought you were apologizing but I guess you’re just pinning the blame back on me.
"I was going to apologize," Rebecca said tightly, wiping away her tears with the back of her fist. "That is, before I knew you were going to threaten me for something I had no power to stop in the first place."
“I just…I’m sorry, but I had to. I can’t lose Cody. I love him. I’ve already lost everything…my mother, my father, my friends and my whole life. I think I’ve even lost you. Cody’s all I have left. All that matters, anyway. I couldn’t lose him too. Please understand that.”
"I wish I could. But I'm afraid I can't. But I'll tell you one thing. I don't believe even for one moment that you loved him. I think you just love the idea of him, someone on your arm at all times who caters to your every whim, whose eyes light up at the mere thought of you. You love the thought of Cody, not him. And what makes it all the more tragic is that I know that he loves you." The tears fell freely down her cheeks, dropping to land on the fabric of her dress and peppering it with splotches. "I know he does. You can see it in his eyes. You know, I used to try to tell myself that it was all right. That as long as I knew he would always be happy with you, that I could be content too just knowing that he was. But now I'm not so sure. Because I'm not sure he can stay happy with you. Not with the way you're acting, the way you're treating me, the way you're clearly capable of treating him."
"I guess it doesn't even matter, does it?" she said with false sincerity and a forced smile. "The world needs spinsters like me, too, doesn't it? It's what you're thinking, I know you are. Maybe I can even care for your children someday, couldn't I? That would be perfectly satisfactory." She lowered her voice. "I could make him happier than you ever will. I won't, ever. I won't even look at him again. But I could, if I'd been given the chance."
Lottie by Mascii1 to 17 of 17
